Friday, April 13, 2012

Understand and Managing Behavior

I owe my friends the update of this talk i went.. Some of us couldn't make it but dont worry and dont feel so bad, there will be other sessions next time, so let's hope we can meet up during next sessions ok!

*that's Puan Intan (red blouse) and Dr Hasnah

The talk is a monthly event organized by Makmal Autisme UKM, and this month, on Saturday 7th April, they invited Puan Intan Miranti from ANDI Initiative to give a talk on behavior management. We (my husband and i and the kids) had planned to head back to Rembau on that very day to visit  my parents-in-law. Since they provide child care for parents attending this talk (what a convienience!), me and my husband grabbed the chance to attend it. We had and have been  attending various training and theraphy sessions by hospitals and government bodies, but never this kind of seminars where parents are also involved.. and it was such an eye opener to us! I enjoyed every second of it.. even rasa sayang nak gi toilet! (nasib baik Intan asked whether we need a break or not)! haha.. she said she can go straight till 12.30.. (i believed her! she has such energy!) but luckily i got my much needed break to the loo without missing anything! :P

First thing she mentioned, she is very attached to what she's doing coz there is an emotional component to it.. that makes sense so much.. i straight away relates it to my cupcakes 'business'.. how i always have hard times rejecting orders.. how people who ordered from me have developed some kind of relationships to me.. because i so love what i'm doing... i tak boleh buat sambil lewa.. mmg rasa tak puas hati sampailah customer puas hati... i still remember ade sorang tu yg tarik muka masam sebab i lupe dia nak pick-up cpcks dia ptg (and i went somewhere else masa tu.. she called and terusla i rushing balik).. sedih teringat sampai sekarang sbb dia dtg ambik dgn muka masam, i dok apologize dia pun buat dunno jek.. well, we can't please everyone.. 

Well, here are some points I noted down from the talk. I'll share these with u..

1. We are surrounded by supportive people.. most of us do.. our husband, parents, friends and even strangers who share the same situation (eg FB group Autisme Malaysia-- pls join the group if u havent, there are so many things u can learn from others!)

2. Please remember that most of the times our kids are well-behaved. 

3. Behavior is voluntary. 

4. Too often behaviors are attributed to 'autism'. (up to a point we always blame autism for everything! remember, normal kids have tantrums too... normal kids are hyper too..)

5. Pay attention to what our kids are 'trying to say' by engaging in this behavior? (my problem is Faaeq hits me when i raise my voice or when other kids try to play with him, he'll push the kid. We're still trying to handle this.. not successful yet!)

6. Kids are so smart! They use escape behavior to get away with what they dont like/dont want to do.. the escape behavior can be very tricky... e.g. hugging, kissing you, showing affection.. then kita cair and gave in.. haha.. i think this is cute! Faaeq will kiss us if he wants anything.. then we'll give in and didnt prompt him to 'say' what he wants... hmmmm

7. For handling tantrums, there are 2 stategies;
    No 1: Reactive strategies - what u do immediately when your child is having a tantrum.
              Eg, mengamuk-  time out.

    No 2: Preventive strategies - what u do BEFORE the situation to prevent tantrum or meltdown. 
              Eg, promise him if he behaves at the bank, he'll get to go to his fav toys shop
                   (this might work for older kids)
              Eg, bring his fav toy/activity book/papers if he likes to color.. when in shoppping mall, take out one by one to make him busy. ( with faaeq, we train him to understand "ok.... finish.." so he knows it's time to go home or quit what he's doing.. he will get upset la kadang2 tp x teruk sgt dah sampai guling2 atas lantai.. dia akan start pukul2 kita (sikit2) la konon marah. His teacher at Nasom says the hitting might be because of his sensory issues, he does not intentionally do it to hit.. tapi x tau lah lagi... masih lagi try nak buang habit x elok dia nie... )  

8. Give them enough physical activies so they can channel out their energy. (there are many kinds of methods and approach.. eg. Higashi method)

Ni kat autism classroom UKM..
other kids are busy playing legos and puzzles.. faaeq sibuk main kat luar.. thank you cikgu yg jaga faaeq.. x sempat ty nama.. really apprecite it!

 I might miss out some points.. but hopefully one or two will at least give u some ideas of what to google for your further read. There are so much information on the net.. we'll have to know what to read to save us time.. coz we really dont have all the time in the world as we wish... ;)

Here's some ideas my mom shared on my FB Wall.. i think it's great!

More Things To Do Instead Of Turning On The TV :)

Take care ya.. and have a great weekend!



mangosteenskin said...

escape behaviour! putri selalu buat, bila dia buat salah and she notices reaksi muka kita perasan apa dia buat...sebelum buka mulut dia dah sebut...putri sayang *nama orang yang berkenaan*.

take care kak edi! dah lama tak blogging/bloghopping...faeeq pun dah besar ya.

Anonymous said...

Yes, all children have tantrums and hyper when they eat too much sugar. Love the idea of having baby sitter to take care of the kids whilst the parent listen in to the talk. Love the activity board too. Loads of activities, antara larat nak buat ker tak jer sebenarnya. Dah tua2 ni saya tersangatlah tak rajin. haih.

Edi said...

mango... hehe.. pandai putri! dia pun emsti dah besar kan.. buh la gambar dia nak tengok :)

kak wiz, tue? tak nampak kedut lagi la... jgn la mengaku tue.. hehehe.. saya yg 'muda' ni pun xlarat nak melayan budak2 nie.. bile tengok they all ni meloncat sana sini, terpk, bessnye kalau ade enerygy mcm they all nie.. mcm2 kek boleh buat! hehe

Anonymous said...

ello.. i think i might be the customer yg u mention tu...

i bukan buat dunno... i ada ckp 'takpe' tapi pelahan je psl i nak cepat balik..

masam tu, mmg muka semulajadi i.. semua org pun kata muka i jenis masam...

Edi said...

ello Anonymous,
it might be u it might be someone else.. kak edi x ingat pun dah muka or nama org tu... i just remember the feelings i had at that moment. and for me it was my fault coz i was the forgetful one. no worries. it's just a moment i remember.. coz jarang berlaku mcm nie.. ade juga yg tak suke design kak edi buat.. pun kak edi ingat sampai skrg feelings tu, tapi siapa dan ape nama dia mmg x ingat dah.. when we put pasison in what we're doing i guess we tend to take things too personal.. it's just that.. dont worry.. no hard feelings k..