Friday, April 22, 2011

Is it easy?

No, it's not. If you ask me how do I do it? Working, cupcake, baking and family. And Faaeq. Imran is a breeze, Faaeq is a storm! ..or tsunami I would say. Maybe not as bad as tsunami, but he is tough to handle, I tell u! With Imran we got to travel everywhere without thinking if the hotel suitable for him, without fearing of tantrums and chasing him everywhere. Without even having second thoughts of whether or not to travel! We could rent a room in Sydney , in Kak Nany's house (she is the warden at Malaysian Hall Sydney, kindly offered us a room in her house for us to rent out. My husband was there to take his licence in aircraft maintenance.. long story short, we spend 9 solid months there in Sydney, travelling all around Australia with Imran. He was 1 year plus at that time.. ).. I couldn't imagine it if it was Faaeq back then. With all the crystals and lovely flower vases everywhere in the house....



At 2, he is showing many autism traits.. tantrums, delayed speech and other skills he is supposed to know by now.. tantrums again... being in his own world.. tantrums... hyperactivity... almost no eye contact... very mininum interactions with Imran and others.. he is fine with me.. but I do noticed that he avoided eye contact everytime I want to teach him something.. We seeked the answer to our questions... we asked why why why and why.. and autism falls as the correct answer. So did our hearts.

Man, this boy is tough to handle.

but his smile is so sweet it melted my heart everytime I see him smiling. at me! his eye contact has improved now coz I know how to get his attention. How? I have to sing! This is when I sang "five little monkeys jumping on the bed"

.. and this is when I sang 'twinkle twinkle little star'.. see the twinkle in his eyes?



that's my mom, and us all during hot air balloon festival @ Putrajaya. Last year, Faaeq cried like there's no tomorrow when he saw those balloons.. this year, he didn't shed a tear! he liked them, I think. Well, nobody knows what he thinks.. 


Faaeq, ibu hopes u get better each day. please slow down on your tantrums, pls hug and kiss ibu more. pls look at me when u want something. pls respond when i call your name. pls ... almost all... call me "ibu" soon!

I love the smell of your hair,
ibu.

14 comments:

Syahida said...

edi, this is soooo touching and sweet! a young child with autism is tough to handle. but believe me, with proper intervention and guidance, the challenging phase will be over (insyAllah). keep on praying :)

KG said...

hancem!....sayang ibu!

mangosteenskin said...

lovely post kak edi!

insyaallah faeeq will get better and better, and you will too :)

Edi said...

KG, busyukkk ibu tuuuu....

mango, i hope so.. kdg2 tak sabar melayan kerenah dia..

Edi said...

syida,
everytime u comment, i always have teary eyes. i hope u're near so that i can hug u! writings made me let go some of the worries i have for him. i really want to see him progressing, but at this stage it seems like forever and as normal human being, and a mother, i think it is normal to feel frustrated at times. i want other moms to know, that even the slightest simple thing a child does, it is an extremely challeging for an autistic child to achieve. such as calling 'ayah' or ibu'.. oh how i wish i can hear him calling me ibu.. rase mcm dah lama sgt tunggu....

Syahida said...

yup edi, waiting is torture..but waiting and autism is so synonym that u must learn to get used to it (i am sure u will)..Abil was once like faeq and I was once like u. have faith in yourself and your child. Allah never breaks His promises *hugs

Anonymous said...

I am aware it isn't easy but I know you are one strong lady who can manage them all.

Keep on doing the lovely things you do now Edi, insyaAllah, the loveliest of them all will be the day when you manage to prompt faaeq to call you ibu, yey!

wiz

Rima said...

Awww Edi.. huggsss... waktu i read ur post i got teary eyes pulak.. lovely post Edi.. for the past 2 days sonia has been difficult.. rude at times and buat papa angry and when kena marah she will gv me that sad look.. reading ur post reminds me of my cousin's worries as she is in the same situation as you.. hv faith edi for the time will come when he will start to call u Ibu.. it will come.. its a matter of time.. it finally came for my cousin after 4yrs of waiting.. :o)

Azfa said...

Edi - meleleh air mata..ish, u ni..I dah la pakai liquid eyeliner yg sememeh kalau kena air..be strong sis, mesti ada hikmahnya...

Edi said...

kak wiz, i'm not that strong.. cuma buat2 macho je.. i know he will eventually speak but the waiting seems forever sometimes.. sometimes it's bearable sometimes i feel it's too much for me to take. bila2 time camtu, nangis jelah.... thks for always being positive *hugs*

rima, kids mmg menguji kesabaran kita kan. bila kita hilang sabar, kita rasa bersalah sebab being so shallow.. budak2 tau apa kan.. pls send my love to yr cousin. kalau faaeq mcm anak dia, meaning bulan 11 ni lah baru i boleh dgr dia panggil ibu.. his birthday is on 4th nov :)

kak azfa, beli yg smooch free tu... baru senang nak leleh2.. hahahaha.. thks for always being here. love u!

LifeBloom said...

Edi - hensemnya Faaeq :D! My heart goes to you dear - having a special child and taking care of him as an amanah from Allah SWT, rahmat dan barokah dariNya masyaAllah..My utmost respect for you and your hubby..My doas for you that Allah SWT and His angels will guide you in this journey. Take care ya!

Maybe one day Auntie Mai will sing for Faaeq ya :D

UmmuAhmads said...

Dear Edi...

My hugs & prayers go to you & faaeq...^_^
Memang ada kalanya perlu untuk let it go (nangis)...Insya Allah the time will come...
Bilalah dpt jumpakan your faaeq with my Adam....in addition, bilalah dpt merasa your cupcakes yang cantik tu...:)

-kak cuya

Edi said...

kak mai, si encem bucuk tu kalau buat perangai.... mmg stress! last week stress dgn dia lah nie.. hahaha.. skrg dah ok. tp semlm, kul 12 mlm taknak tido lagi, gi dapur main air teh. pastu naik atas sinki main sudu.. i dah pening! lepas kena marah baru tido. (dia faham kalau kiter marah dia. kalau suruh buat ape2, mmg dia buat tak faham je..).. sian dia. otak dia mcm2 fikir tu... nak buat itu ini.. mmg susah nak jaga budak2 mcm nie tp betul kak mai ckp, ade byk hikmahnya dengan faaeq nie, rezeki mmg bertambah, alhamdulillah, and kitorg byk belajar dr dia sebenarnya.. thks kak mai! nanti kalau kak mai ke rumah Allah nanti, saya nak kirim doa utk faaeq ok. *hugs*

Edi said...

kak cuya,
tu lah.. we must meet up! bwk faaeq jumpa adam and tengok camne budak2 tu wrestling! hahahaha...

alah, nangis tu biase. pompuan kalau tak nangis tak rock ah.. :D